Clothe Yourself in Love

I love sharing this journey with my friends, because just when I need it (but without even asking for it), they offer encouragement!  My sweet friend Jenni texted me this verse last week.

She reminded me that there are more important things to clothe ourselves with than new clothing!

As I've been thinking about this verse, I have been asking the question how.  How do we clothe ourselves with love?  What habits can I purposefully create to help become a more loving person?  Here are some of my ideas.

• Each day when you get dressed or change clothes, say a prayer.  Ask for help in showing love to others in all circumstances! (Like even when your husband leaves his dirty dishes on the counter for the umpteenth time...)  Or thank the Lord for the unconditional love He shows you.  Make it a prayer of love!  Don't pray?  As you get dressed, set a positive goal for showing love to someone or repeat a love-focused mantra.

• When you think something positive about someone else - tell them!  How often do we think things in our heads without sharing?  That sweet, encouraging phrase could be exactly what someone needs to keep going.  This applies to strangers, too.  See a mom at the grocery store being sweet to her child?  Tell her she's a good mother!  Love the cashier's sunny attitude?  Thank them for it!  Person next to you at the gym has great sneakers?  Compliment them!  Spread love by just sharing what you are already thinking about others!

• Remind yourself that EVERYONE deserves love.  Clothing ourselves with love means loving everyone - not just people we really like.  Each week think about who you can show love to even though it might be hard.

Why We Buy

Blair Waldorf might not be right, but society sure seems to think so.  I've been thinking a lot lately about why we buy (beyond what we need).  Why is it fun to shop?  Why is it thrilling to acquire a new possession?  Sometimes things we buy make our lives easier or truly add value, but a lot of the time the "value" is just in the fleeting moment of the purchase.  At least for me.  And I'm clearly not alone.  Apparently 60% of what we buy is discretionary.  So why do we buy?

What Scientists Say

Back in the day, humans had to search for food by hunting and gathering.  Since we no longer have to do so, our instincts that are wired for this have found a new goal in shopping.  Shopping can also cause a release of dopamine in the brain - the same release that happens in response to food, sex, and drugs.  Just as some people struggle with addictions to those things, some people become addicted to the dopamine release they receive from shopping.  Well, that makes sense!

What Economists Say

America has never done much to encourage its people to save.  We have almost unlimited access to credit, and most credit card companies will let you pay a mere 2% of your balance each month.  This is pretty much unheard of in Europe and the rest of the world.

We also can shop easier and faster than ever with online shopping (Amazon Prime is the bomb, just sayin') and smart phones.

What Psychologists Say

We are heavily influenced by marketing.  Advertisers have gotten very good at creating adverts that create emotional responses within us and in turn lead us to buy those products.  Research has shown that even when we don't think we are affected by an ad, our brain often tells a different story.

We also can't resist a "sale."

Every time we contemplate a purchase, our brain is weighing the pleasure it gets from acquiring the item against the pain it gets from spending money.  The less money you need to spend, the easier it becomes to make the decision to buy.  It makes perfect sense that clothing companies raise the initial prices of their merchandise just so they can put it all on sale.  And we totally fall for it.  "The original price was $50, but I got it for $20!!  Can you believe that!?"

My Additional Thoughts

I love television.  But I do think the attitudes towards shopping shown on many of my favorite shows - always having a new outfit, the importance of knowing and following trends, the normalcy of spending frivolously - have negatively influenced my shopping behaviors.

I also have used shopping as a reward over the years.  It's easier to justify shopping when you have a valid reason why you "earned" it.

Man how I love Tom.

Fashion blogs (and IG) have also helped feed my need to buy.  I love seeing gorgeously styled photos of fashionable women in fab outfits, but that usually leads to clicking one of the gazillion links to possibly purchase something they were wearing.  It also constantly shows me what's new in fashion which leads to wanting those new things.  Because 250 tops aren't enough if you don't have the one with a built-in choker...

I think that generations past could say they overspent because growing up they didn't have any wiggle room for "fun" or "just because" purchases.  They grew up with only the bare necessities (and sometimes didn't have those either), and once they worked their tails off to create a better life as an adult, they wanted to enjoy it and give their children what they never had.  It totally makes sense.  But my generation can't claim this.  We grew up (well most of us - yes, I know there are those that didn't) with not a need in the world and not even usually a want that didn't get fulfilled.

While not a bad thing, this has caused a new problem.  A generation of us who are used to getting what we want, throwing this or that in the cart at Target, not seeing the need to budget.

I believe that by examining why we buy, we can become better equipped to make smarter purchasing decisions and stop the cycle of drunken consumerism.

Sources:

*https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/09/150929070419.htm

*http://www.abc.net.au/catalyst/stories/s1907307.htm

*http://www.npr.org/2011/12/05/143149947/why-americans-spend-too-much

*http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/ct-tribu-americans-spend-story-story.html

*https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2015/03/the-neurological-pleasures-of-modern-shopping/388577/

January Recap! (& 10 Items Purged)

I totally started writing this post in oh, you know, the actual month of January.  Now somehow we are 1/4 through February.  "Mom brain" is still a valid excuse when your baby is 10 months old, right!?

One month down, 11 to go.  Here's how I fared in January...

-Not a single clothing, jewelry, shoes, or makeup item purchased  (HUZZAH!)
-Survived a trip to Target and the outlet mall
-Borrowed my best friend's clothes for a trip to Chicago
-Survived shopping on the Magnificent Mile without spending a dime
-Resisted the urge to purchase the most beautiful pink Beyond Yoga leggings (best pants in the world) at my Pure Barre Studio

So did I save GOBS of money this month or what!?  Well, no not really.  Whomp whomp.  John and I spent a lot of money in Chicago on food (and maybe drinks, too, full disclosure), and my son Beckett needed real shoes with soles since he's semi-walking now, as well as some 12 month clothes.  That said, I guarantee the credit card bill is lower than it would have been had I also been shopping this month.  Like $400 lower at least.  So that's a win!

I also decided that purging and donating needs to be a part of my challenge as well.  Not only do I need to stop adding to my stuff, I need to get rid of things that I should have never bought in the first place.  Donating them seems like a great way to help others while also helping myself.  So at the end of each month this year, I must get rid of 10 items - they can be shoes, clothing, purses, or jewelry.

Choosing 10 this month was super easy, but I'm sure by December I'll be struggling.  Here's what is vacating my closet:

2 pairs of booties and 1 pair of flats

2 necklaces

2 t-shirts, 2 long sleeve shirts, and 1 sweater

So yeah it's probably cheating to count old sorority tees, but I'm going with it.

If you set a resolution this year, I hope January went well for you, too!